Divorce after 35 years

An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says, 'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!'

'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.

'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says.

'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!'

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of this.'

She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then , don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay', he says, 'It's all set. They're both coming for our anniversary and paying their own airfare!!'

MORAL:

No person is busy in this world all 365 days.

The sky is not going to fall down if you take few days LEAVE and meet your dear ones.

Worldwide Moment 2009 (Malaysia) 09.09.09 GMT+9 09:09

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10 Marketing Concepts

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's DIRECT MARKETING.

2. You are at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's very rich. Marry him!"
That's ADVERTISING.

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call her and say, "Hi, I am very rich.
Marry me!"
That's TELEMARKETING.

4. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You get up and straighten your tie. You walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her. You pick up her
bag after she drops it. You offer her a ride and you say, "By the way, I am very rich. Will you marry me?"
That's PUBLIC RELATIONS.

5. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
She walks up to you and says, "You are very rich. Can you marry me?"
That's BRAND RECOGNITION.

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You walk up to her and say, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's CUSTOMER FEEDBACK.

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You walk up to her and say, I am very rich. Marry me!"
And she introduces you to her husband.
That's DEMAND AND SUPPLY GAP.

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You walk up to her and before you can say anything, another person comes along and tells her, "I am very rich. Marry me!"
That's MARKET COMPETITION.

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You walk up to her and before you can say anything, another person comes along and tells her, "I am very rich. Marry me!
And she follows him.
That's LOSING MARKET SHARE.

10. You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You walk up to her and before you can say, "I am very rich. Marry me!",
YOUR WIFE TURNS UP!
That's BARRIER TO NEW MARKET ENTRY.

Boy....

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

“Mom,” he asked, “Are these my brains?”

“Not yet,” she replied

(thanks Wan!)

Secretary and Boss

This is not funny for the love birds. Still, its hilarious and they deserve it.... good lessons for bosses who are married yet gatal ;p

A SECRETARY accidentally bit off the penis of her employer while giving him oral sex in a car.

Sin Chew Daily and China Press reported yesterday that while the 30-year-old woman was performing oral sex on the man, the car was hit by a reversing van. The impact of the crash, China Press reported, caused the woman to bite off her lover’s organ.

The daily reported that the incident occurred in a Singapore park where the couple met after work.

To make matters worse for the woman, her husband had sent a private investigator to spy on her after suspecting that she was being unfaithful. The investigator said he had followed the woman and her boss to the park.

“On reaching the park, they did not alight from the car. Not long after, the car started to shake violently. After the car was hit by the van, there was a loud scream from the woman whose mouth was covered with blood,” he said.

The woman later followed her lover to the hospital with part of the sexual organ.

The investigator, who called an ambulance to send the man to hospital, said that this was the first time he had encountered such an incident.

Source: Star Online

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The Generation Y

- Silent generation, people born before 1946.

- Baby Boomers, people born between 1946 and 1959.

- Generation X, people born between 1960 and 1979.

- Generation Y, people born between 1980 and 1995.

Why do we call them generation Y?

This is the Reason

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Belajar Jepun

Nama-nama Jepun :)

01. Yang pemarah - KEiJI CACIMAKI

02. Yang suka berjimat - SAYORI SUKAMURA

03. Yang bisu - KIETA TADASORA

04. Yang suka makan nasi - NANACHi KASIBANYA

05. Yang suka layan blues - APO NADIKATO

06. Yang suka belajar - ASHIKO ULANGKAJI

07. Yang kerap bikin kacau - WAKASI HURUHARA

08. Yang sangat kedekut - MATIMATI TAMOKASI

09. Yang suka sangat tidur - ICHIBAN TIDOMATI

10. Yang suka mengintai - HINTAI AKOSUKA

11. Yang tua - TARAGIGI PADANMUKA

12. Yang kena tinggal bini - SUSAHATI BINILARI

13. Yang suka merempit - SAJA CARIMATI

14. Yang Lembab - AYUMI SIPUTBABI

15. Yang suka BERSUMPAH - lU FIKIRLAH SENDIRI.

[terimakasih pada brader Kebuk]

Louis Armstrong ~ what a wonderful world

Think and Thank, Berfikir dan Bersyukur!


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Jason Mraz ~ I'm Yours

I won't hesitate, no more, no more.
There's no need to complicate because our time is short.


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20 things to remember during the Working Days

Got this from an email. Please consider seriously before following these "tips" :)

1. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

2. If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos…then you probably haven’t completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

3. Doing a job RIGHT the first time gets the job done. Doing the job WRONG fourteen times gives you job security.

4. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

5. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

6. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

7. Plagiarism saves time.

8. If at first you don’t succeed, try management.

9. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

10. TEAMWORK…means never having to take all the blame yourself.

11. The beatings will continue until morale improves.

12. Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

13. We waste time so you don’t have to.

14. Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away! ....

15. Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

16. A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm clock at all.

17. When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

18. INDECISION is the key to FLEXIBILITY.

19. Succeed in spite of management.

20. Aim Low, Reach Your Goals, Avoid Disappointment.

Mathematics

Romance
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Office
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

Shopping
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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Tallest Vehicular Bridge

Imagine standing at the edge of this tallest bridge in the world...... beautiful yet scary!? More about the Millau Viaduct bridge on wikipedia and more photos on Google.


















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Don't Worry Be Happy

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Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry, be happy.

In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy.
Don't worry, be happy now.

CHORUS:
Don't worry, be happy. Don't worry, be happy.
Don't worry, be happy. Don't worry, be happy.

Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry, be happy.

The landlord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don't worry, be happy.

CHORUS:
(Look at me -- I'm happy. Don't worry, be happy.
Here I give you my phone number. When you worry, call me,
I make you happy. Don't worry, be happy.)

Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Ain't got no gal to make you smile
Don't worry, be happy.

'Cause when you worry your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
Don't worry, be happy.

CHORUS:
(Don't worry, don't worry, don't do it.
Be happy. Put a smile on your face.
Don't bring everybody down.
Don't worry. It will soon pass, whatever it is.
Don't worry, be happy.
I'm not worried, I'm happy...)

Thanks to Bobby Mc Ferrin

Anamorphism

..
A pool in the middle of the street? Look at the guys feet in the pool:












Well, from another perspective.... it is all just a flat illusion!














Hari ni belajar perkataan baru.... berbelit lidah nak sebut:

• Julian Beever - pelukis gambar di atas
• Center for Graphic Facilitation
• Anamorphic Art Resources
• The Art of Anamorphosis

We can be looking at the same thing differently and both of us are right!! So what is real?
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Pick-up Line Comebacks...

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

source: lawakjenaka.com